Today is sharing day and I just pray that I'm not sharing too much. If you feel the same way I do or deal with this in your own world of design - please say hi and be my little support system. Or tell me to take this crap down because I've taken a nosedive into TMI. Either would be helpful! Thanks <3
I love high-end, jaw-dropping, heart-swelling, lust-inducing design. You see it in Architectural Digest and Dwell and, well, you know where to find it. I love that. I love looking at that and I love designing that. There are at least a couple of issues here, though. The first one being that the typical (and wonderful) client does not have the budget for an Elle Decor worthy home. The second being that I can't post personal images of my home that look like this because although I can design it, I personally cannot afford it, either. It is a humbling thing and painfully frustrating to desire a master bath dipped in marble and dripping with nickel, and realize that I will not have that in my life (for the next few years, anyway. I have long term goals).
So how do I deal with this without feeling like a fraud? A limited budget always stretches those creativity muscles, but at times I become stagnant with the thought that if I just wait a little longer... I will be able to buy those window treatments that would imbue the living room with texture and diffuse the ample afternoon light to an inviting glow.
So far, I've pushed that purchase off a good six months.
In other instances, I procrastinate even doing the little things - like hanging artwork - because it isn't exactly what I want up on my walls. The 60" square painting I want by Amy Kirchner that would finish the wall brilliantly will have to wait, and in the meantime I guess I'd rather live with blank walls.
I did feel remarkably improved once I purchased my sofa in cream with clean lines and soft, perfectly lounge-able cushions, and the 80" long by 30" deep dining table I had made to gather around with clients or family. I was able to sell or pitch the random pieces I had been using for these items before. Now I could invite people over without feeling self-conscious to the point that I couldn't relax and enjoy the company. Still, I would feel even better if I could rip out my fireplace and start from scratch there. Or - my ultimate desire - widen the doorway to my kitchen and gut that thing completely.
So how do I cope? I try very, very hard to be nice to myself. Gentle and supporting. Because no one is as hard on me as me. High standards and expectations are as much a part of me as my sarcasm and work ethic. I remind myself that even if I could afford to do all of the things I desire, my family and friends wouldn't change their opinions of me. I don't have meetings in the dining room yet as I plan to, but living in the simple and simply beautiful home I have created is a pleasure I have waited years to experience. I try to find solace in my simplicity by adopting not a minimalist lifestyle - which I admire, but realize I am not 100% able to commit to without the budget to make it beautiful (vanity in minimalism. Hmm...) - but by living in hygge.
So far, the best description I have come across for this word is this: "A fundamental quality of Danish culture, [it] cannot be translated using a single word. Rather, it includes many of the pleasures we associate with everyday living - relaxing with friends, enjoying good food, and creating a cozy evening by lighting a candle or two." Thank you Skagen, a Danish website, for the description!
It isn't going to keep me from dreaming of my lavish master bath or extended deck and lush gardens, but it does help me to recognize the beauty in simplicity.
And that is what I will hold onto until the time that my home is covering the pages of House Beautiful! ;)
Now - PLEASE - share your design dilemma with me and how you overcome it. Or tell me to shut up and take this post down as soon as I am able. I know you have an opinion, and I really want to hear it! Thanks :)
Warning: Hygge has hit the states and I predict it is going to be trendy as hell. Remember - its a quality of living - not a style. Don't buy something because its marketed as "hygge". That is literally the opposite of the whole dang thing!
A great blog by the adorable Alex Beauchamp you may want to check out is HyggeHouse. She is Danish and shares of her perfect hygge house and the joys she has found in it.